In continuation to my previous post

Mike sighed as he looked at the envelope.  Surely, he thought, this must be some mistake.  He always kept up with the use rights of all the software his team deployed.

He purchased everything with software assurance.  Why would he do that?  Well, Mike happened to be a scholar when it came to licensing.  He purchased software assurance so it would give him the right to license hosted offerings under his Enterprise Agreement.  Secondly, he wasn’t at all nervous about auditors coming into his datacenter.  He licensed Windows Datacenter, SQL Enterprise (to take advantage of fail-over rights and unlimited virtualization), RDS external connector license, and he purchased a SharePoint Server license to cover all external users.  He also purchased SharePoint user licenses (both Standard and Enterprise as he knows they are additive licenses) for all his internal employees.  Mike was beyond compliant, he was Microsoft’s dream customer.  He actually looked forward the discussion with the auditors just to prove how great he is. (or was).  That time will come, but for now he had to get ready for the Electronic Medical Record Ball that evening where he hoped his “Cloud EMR” solution would win an award.  He tossed the envelope to the side, chuckled at the thought of an audit, and went on his way. Always the socialite, Mike wouldn’t miss this party for anything.

Mike’s wife looked breathtaking. Her dark brown hair curled to perfection as it gently rested against her shoulders.  Her dress; long, stylish, that fit perfectly against her body.  If looks could kill, she would be a wanted criminal.  The butler, who waited patiently at the bottom of the winding staircase was in his awe. Never before had his tired eyes witnessed such beauty.  He took her hand and gently slipped into his so she would not trip. “You look radiant Mrs. Torro.”  She paused and quietly whispered, “Please, call me Rachel.”

At the party, Mike chummed it up with other CEO’s while Rachel sat alone with wine, and wished she was somewhere else.  The wine flowed easily that evening, and after a couple glasses Rachel started to feel a bit more social.  A song came on that reminded her of a time not too long ago when they first me.  She went out on the dance floor, grabbed her husbands hand, and started to dance around in circles. Mike, who always had two left feet, was very uncomfortable.  “Please Rachel…you are embarrassing me.”  Mike threw his hands away from hers and started to walk away when Rachel confronted him once again.

“Why are you such a jerk”  She hollered.  People started to stare. Mike forcefully pulled her towards him and whispered in her ear. “The only jerk around here is you my dear.”   Rachel, who doesn’t back down very easily, shouted “You can take your Cloud EMR and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine!”  Tears started to roll down her cheek.  Her maschera started to smear.   She could not hold back any longer.   “Look at you!”  She said through her crying eyes.  “You think you are so clever. Do you honestly think you received that notification randomly?  I am the one that notified the auditors.  You hear that everyone?  Mike is getting audited! This ‘Cloud EMR’ is nothing but a joke!”  She continued her rage.  “Here’s a pop quiz for everyone here….”  She paused for a moment to make sure people were listening, and they were.   “How do you license a Windows Server when you are hosting it?”  The crowd was silent.  They looked dumfounded.  One man broke out a copy of the PUR out of his tuxedo pocket while another tried to look it up online via his phone.  “No need to look it up…”  Rachel shouted.  “Because’ here’s a hint…not the way HE’s doing it.”  She stopped, and pointed her fingers directly at Mike.  The crowd was in shock.

Perhaps it wasn’t Rachel who spoke that night, maybe it was the wine, but nonetheless her secret was out. The gasp from bystanders could be heard throughout the room.  Rachel ran out crying.  Mike stood there for a moment, and turned to the other socialites and said with a smile, “Well…as they say, wine is spelled w-h-i-n-e.”  No one had a clue what that meant.   Half of them were not listening.  A table of nerds were reading the PUR with a magnified glass while their wives chatted about how expensive SQL Server was.  Mike was fed up, he left the room and called a taxi.

The next day Rachel’s head was pounding.  The butler got a warm towel and gently put it on her forehead to ease the pain.  “Thank you” she whispered quietly.  The butler smiled.

That afternoon the auditors showed up.  A team of nerds with pocket protectors, glasses, and notepads.  Mike was prepared.  He greeted them at the door and offered a glass of bourbon to “break the ice”.  They politely declined.  “Well Mr. Torro, let’s review what we know.  You have an Enterprise Agreement that covers all Windows, SQL and RDS licenses.  You also have an array of CAL’s that covers all your employees who seem to have access to these servers.  You also purchased external connector licenses for all external users.  Is that correct?”  Mike smiled and answered confidently, “Yes, that is correct.  All external users are covered.  As you can see Gilbert (another from the past, this time the Revenge of the Nerds movie), I am well licensed.  According the Product Use Rights, also known as the P-U-R, I am 100% compliant.”

The auditor smiled and shook his head.  “My name is actually James.  I audit companies for a living, but on the weekends I compete in MMA matches.  That stands for Mixed-Martial-Arts. You call me Gilbert again and I will break you in half.”  Mike was taken aback.  “Are you threatening me Gilbert?  I will sue you faster than a fly could fly”  Again, no one had any idea what that meant.

“I am not threatening you Mr. Torro just telling you the truth. Speaking of truth, you should’ve read ALL the pages in the PUR, especially the section that talks about Self-Hosted.  Do you own the EMR application Mr. Torro?”  Mike went to answer but was interrupted by James, “No you do not.   Do you realize that all your server applications that you purchased because you barely read the PUR is not compliant?  Do you realize you should be under SPLA and the document you need to follow is called the SPUR?  Do you also realize that even if you did own the EMR application, the entire solution has to be Self-Hosted eligible?  Do you realize SharePoint is not? According to our calculations Mr. Torro, you owe over 3 years of licenses. The total comes to $12.5 million.”

Mike didn’t say a word.  James got up to leave with the rest of his team, when all of a sudden Mike threatened James with another lawsuit.  James laughed.  That infuriated Mike, and he threw a punch towards James but slipped and fell to the ground, missing terribly.  James calmly and without warning wound his body up and did an acrobatic leg kick, knocking him out cold.  The auditors left.

Stay tuned for Part 3

Questions to ponder –

What does “The entire solution must be self-hosted eligible mean?”

What is the difference between PUR and SPUR?

If your spouse dragged you out on the dance floor, would you dance?

Who is Gilbert from Revenge of the Nerds? C’mon.  It’s only one of the best movies from the 80’s.  It is also the first movie to introduce text messaging – 80’s style.  (1.40 into the clip)

Thanks for reading,

SPLA Man